Although I am sure most people who have know me for awhile would be shocked to read this post, I am vacillating with the ever present question of anyone who has been married for awhile: is it time for kids? January 2008 it was an easy answer "not now, probably not ever." As I prepared to ring in 2009, I felt myself not only softening to the idea, but embracing it. Not because someone is pressuring me - in fact I have had only encouragement in the opposite direction: to not have kids. Dave's mouth literally hung wide open when I told him... he thought this day would never come.
As I reflect, here are some questions from the website http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/319142/ and my responses to each:
- To Mend A Broken Relationship
Not at all, Dave and I have a great relationship and it is growing stronger every year it seems. - To Provide Someone to Love You Forever, Unconditionally
No... that's weird and I think I would need a psychiatrist not a baby.... children are a lot of work... I could get unconditional love from a goldfish.... - For Revenge
Against who? No. - To Win Someone Back
Isn't this the same as number one... no. - Because You're "Getting Old"
I should hope at 25 I am not considering over the hill. This has no impact, I have at least 5+ more fertile years before I have to worry about being too old. - Because Everyone Else Is
I thought about this, it does seem like a lot of people I see around are pregnant. Not just friends or acquintances, but people in general. I think this is an increased awareness due to my desire to be pregnant, not some weird influence that is affecting my decision making. People around me have had babies for several years, and it never made me want to be pregnant as well.
How does one decide when one is ready. Do you need to own your own home? Should you have paid off your debt? Be done your education? Have a secure job with no plans to switch? Have short term disability insurance or enough sick leave stocked up to cover?
Or do you just go for it with confidence that things work out as they should....
.....I'll let you know if I figure it out.......
2 comments:
Your thoughts are pretty deep!! If we would of waited for all the stars to align and money to arrive I would not have 3 children and 5 grandchildren. Children are truly a gift - I hope it happens soon for you and Dave!!
You can never be ready for children, but I think setting one or two "milestone goals" to have completed is a good idea. IE, owning a house, being married for 5 years, etc.
Having said that, when a baby DOES come unexpectedly, there is no way you can say that you will miss out on reaching any milestone goals because of it.
Jayla was not planned, and we have just now bought our first house, she was 2.5 when we bought.
I don't think we would have actually bought a house by now if Jayla was not born. Having her in our family raised our standards, for we wanted to provide for her.
We haven't even gotten married yet. But I'm glad we haven't and are not in debt to a wedding but rather a house first.
So although we did it in the wrong order, well, I think that order worked out for us.
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